The kind of Canadian you were warned about.

shaunsense:

I couldn’t be a sex-positive feminist if I wasn’t comfortable in my asexual identity.

Before I identified as asexual (and therefore before I figured out sexual attraction wasn’t what I thought it was), I could convince myself that everyone around me who was having sex had “looser morals.” I wasn’t feeling sexual attraction, so I could totally believe the crap those Christian dating books fed me about how boys want the chase and it’s your job as a girl to keep them from getting the prize. I could skip being appalled at my school’s nearly-abstinence-only sex education because abstinence was easy for me, so what was up with those other people? I didn’t care about abortion rights or safe sex because I didn’t understand why someone, particularly an unmarried high school student, would be having sex in the first place.

When I learned that I was in the minority, that I was different, that my experience wasn’t everyone’s experience, I learned about the virgin-whore dichotomy, about slut-shaming, about all the terrible hang-ups our society has about female sexuality. And I want to help fight those things. I want to fight for my fellow women (and for people of all genders and sexualities) to have any form or degree of sexual expression that makes them happy and fulfilled and comfortable. That includes self-identified sluts, sex-repulsed asexuals, and everything in between. I want people to have an open dialogue about sex so we can realize that we aren’t all the same. That my asexual experience isn’t your sexual experience, and it might not be your asexual experience either, and that’s okay, and that’s healthy.

I’m asexual, and I may not want to have sex, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you to. I want you to get enthusiastic consent from your partner(s) and have the most awesome sex you can possibly imagine. I want you to be able to share with your partner(s) your kinks and those things that really turn you on, and I want your partner(s) to respect them and feel no shame in trying a few if they’re comfortable. I want you to love who you love and and get off on what you get off on, as long as no one’s being hurt.

I do sometimes want to know how sexual attraction works for you and why. It’s interesting and normal and human. I’m still not interested in having sex with you - I couldn’t muster up the willpower and be excited about it, so you wouldn’t like it much.

I’m not repulsed by the idea of sex. Some people are, and that’s perfectly legitimate. I’m just not that into the idea of sex involving me. Not because I hate myself or think I’m not worthy of affections or because I’m denying my body’s messages because society told me to because I’m a woman. I’m just not that into it.

And, in my opinion, that should be fine. A person should be able to like sex as much as xie does or doesn’t without being told, on either extreme, that xie is degrading xirself by having sex too often or with too many people, or that xie is out-of-touch with xir body’s true needs by having sex too rarely or with too few people.

We’re all different. That’s what the asexual community has helped me realize. That’s also what people like Dan Savage have helped me realize. So have feminist blogs and my gender and women’s studies professors. Sex is not one-size-fits-all, and claiming an asexual identity is not about and should not be about trying to make it so.

I want to live in a world where I can have as much or as little sex as I want and not feel like less of a woman or less of a person, and I want my friends, asexual or otherwise, to live in the same world.

I am a feminist, and that’s not something that’s happened in spite of my asexual identity or the asexual internet communities. I wouldn’t have discovered feminism without first discovering asexuality. But you can refuse to accept my sexual identity, and you can refuse to accept me as an ally of gender and sexuality minorities. But please, please, do not refuse to accept me as a feminist just because of your misconceptions of what my orientation means. Do not put words like “slut-shamer” in the mouths of an entire diverse group of people just because we describe our sexualities with a different word than you do.

letstalkabouted:

Today, after reading the news that the House passed a bill that would allow hospitals to let women to die rather than perform a life-saving abortion, commenter mcstabbypants came up with an idea, “Rules For Women In The United States.” Here they are. Pass ‘em on.
“Welcome to the USA, little girl! We are so glad you have arrived. Here is a list of rules to live by, just to get you started: 1. Technically, you may wear whatever you choose, but we strongly suggest (mostly through market saturation) that you wear clothes that are: pink, ruffled, cheaply made, and promote messages such as “Princess Diva,” “Math is Hard!” or “I’m Too Pretty to Work.” Once you reach the age of 8, you will be expected to sex it up, with the peek-a-boo clothing, heels, and miniskirts that are widely available in your demographic. Make-up by the age of 13 is a requirement. Remember this at Halloween: sexy nurse, sexy kitten, sexy taxidermist. If it has ‘sexy’ in the title, it’s the right kind of costume.
2. Your weight is not your own business – it is everyone’s business. You will be expected to conform to whatever standards society sets for you to look presentable and datable at any age. Deviations from this range, whether too skinny or too fat, will be subject to societal repercussions and punishments. Remember, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels! And also, just eat a sandwich already if we can’t see any boobs or hips. You need to look GOOD. Read More

From the explanation:

This is a joint petition by the Tennessee Equality Project and Gay-Straight Alliance Network’s Make It Better Project.

When several students at Sequoyah High School in Madisonville, Tennessee tried to start a Gay-Straight Alliance club after years of bullying, their principal said no. When the students circulated a petition and gathered 150 student signatures supporting the club, the principal banned petitions. When this brought local media scrutiny and the attention of the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), the administration blocked the club based on its failure to secure an advisor. Although the students found teachers who seemed supportive and willing to serve as advisers, all eventually withdrew without explanation.

Now, according to the ACLU, Principal Moser has allegedly assaulted one student, Chris Sigler, for wearing a handmade shirt that read “GSA: We’ve got your back” – grabbing his arm and chest-bumping him while asking “Who’s the big man now?”

Despite the complaint filed by Chris and his mother, the Sheriff’s Department has failed to interview his sister, who witnessed the alleged assault, or his mother, who witnessed additional behavior from the principal.
Demand that the Sheriff’s Department fully investigate this incident, and further, that Monroe County Schools approve the GSA, state that teachers who agree to advise the GSA will not face repercussions (as demanded by the TN ACLU), and address the hostile environment that LGBTQ students face at Sequoyah.

Under the Federal Equal Access Act, students have the right to form a Gay-Straight Alliance club in public schools that allow other extra-curricular clubs. GSA clubs can be a lifeline for students dealing with bullying and harassment. The tragic deaths of many young people by suicide in the past year have illustrated the importance of safe spaces, resources, and anti-bullying campaigns for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. It is unconscionable for the district to erect barriers between its students and a safe learning environment, but Sequoyah’s refusal to allow a GSA – and the administration’s harassment of supportive students and teachers – amounts to just that.

Young people need to know that they can make it better, and that there are resources out there for them, including the Make It Better Project, the Tennessee Equality Project, GLSEN Middle Tennessee, GLSEN East Tennessee, and GSA Network.

lunalucina:

Feminism is about equality between people of all genders and sexes.  It’s about all people of all colors, classes, religions, etc.  CIS men, CIS women, people who identify differently.  It’s about heterosexuals, bisexuals, asexuals, pansexuals and anyone who identifies as being something different.  All people can benefit from feminism to some extent—even the CIS, wealthy, white male.

To leave out a group of people (as Tumblr has shown me, WOC are often brushed aside l: ) is certainly no better than the social oppression we are trying to break free of.  It’s hideously hypocritical.

I’ve seen way too many people claim their post or their attitude is “psyco feminist”—which is as offensive as it is ignorant—when it is, in fact, not pro-feminism what-so-ever. 

Tumblr has made me hesitate about using the label of “feminist”.  The definition of feminism and the understanding of the definition is seemingly unknown/misunderstood online and off. 

Ugh.

Eh. I’ll still be using ‘feminist,’ probably, and clarify what I mean when I use it if I have to. Just because some utter assholes are trying to claim it doesn’t mean we need to give up on it and hand it over (from my perspective, anyway).